Free!

..I’m sorry. I’m not talking about the awesome sauce anime. ;___;

*

I always feel trapped. Perhaps, it is because of my personality. I’m carefree yet rigid. I go crazy yet I’m too meticulous. I like to be lifted by the winds and fly me somewhere yet I often get tangled up to trees and knots making me stay as where I am.  In the end, stagnation starts and I can’t help but feel useless. It’s hard to understand but I hope you get the point.

*

I ponder a lot. And during my twenty-minute walk towards my workplace and back to my home after shift is where I ponder too much about life. This includes the desire to be free.

To be honest, I cannot say I’m happy happy. I’m happy, yes. But I want to find the core of it: the meaning. Just as how Jack Frost in Rise of the Guardians found at the almost end, his center.

I’ve got a loving family, yes. Indeed, I’m blessed as to who and how I am. And with regards to work and other points of my life, I’m lucky. Yet in these things, I feel the most drained. More often than not, there is the urge to throw these all in spite of the blessings they bring.

*

The desire to be free is astoundingly strong. And the search of my meaning of free is continuous. I know for one this is not something materially woven. And I have to find it with an open mind and a loving heart.

**

Aside from the Free! thing, I’ve turned one year in this domain. Wow. So I was pretty lame last year ’cause I only had like fifteen posts? Lol. Maybe because I got too focused with my other social media life. /cackles

Anyway, a happy one year to me! As I search the meaning of being free in my life, I’ll infuse the “A fulfilling year for more fulfilling years!” principle I’ve made for my life here in WordPress. Count on that! :)

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