I look around.
There’s nothing I fancy anymore.
I blankly stare.
Confusion is what’s out there.
The paintbrush I’ve held for so long begins to become damaged from overuse.
Yet with its constant usage, the canvases were monotonous. Somehow, unrevealing.
Surprisingly, people around me claim how vibrant my works are. Shockingly bright and colorful.
I looked back and wondered why they see such tints when all I hear whispering in my head was, “Let’s paint it black and white.”
It’s scary to think that you’ve been seen as a person of vibrancy when in fact you see yourself as dull as black coffee, even bitter.
So I try to put in the colors everybody has been telling me they’re seeing. A blotch of red, sprinkles of glittering blue, a slash of yellow, and everything else I felt the need to put.
For the first time in my life, I felt satisfied. Fulfilled even that I’ve created the paintings everybody is telling me about.
In the end, I was utterly wrong. Queries of “What happened with the colors?”, “They’ve become dull and boring, right?.”, “Ah, so you’ve fallen into a slump, huh?”
In the end, I still failed.
It started to stop making any sense.
I started to question my own person.
I started to withdraw and claim that “Yes, I have fallen into a slump.”
When I wasn’t. The first time I painted something colorful, I wasn’t. I was actually getting a bit liberated from the shackles of the stressful realities.
It’s funny because when I was thinking I wasn’t worth it others were telling otherwise up until I gained strength to step up that they started thinking I’m completely a trash.
Ah, the irony.
Well, the paintbrush broke. Finally. It gave up.
It’s still uncertain whether there will be continuity in painting or none.
But still, I can hear the whispers in my head saying,
“Shh. Let’s paint it black and white.”
© BTS Official (photo)
“Let’s paint it black and white.”
I’ve been so lured into writing things like this lately.
Also, I’ve been having urges in writing romance, aha!
I just felt like (nowadays), I can write something with love at the center.
The reason may have been these aesthetically breathtaking pictures of my fandoms from the past and the recent times.
Be safe y’all!~