76. The leaves are drying out.

As time passed,
it felt like it was the last.
The final blooming of the season,
and I still have no thoughts to reason.

The leaves are drying out,
I had no words to spout.
Not even as my mind whirl,
I go to the bed silently and curl.

Yet I have a strong faith,
there is no possible bait.
It’s just this season, I say.
So with this I wait for another season and stay.

I’m going to wait until the flowers bloom,
it’s a cycle, this stagnant gloom.
And I know I’m stronger than this,
the stars, the sun, and the moon give me peace.

*I’m looking at the sky all the time because it brings me to different places all at once. It’s where my dreams from day and night just prance. I stick to this reality without giving up in life, really.*

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70. We leave those metaphors.

I used to write about the stars,
and people forget about the scars.
Because with dreams we feel secure,
and escaping seemed like the cure.

I was speaking about the sun,
to hide the truth of the waning fun.
I think the past was about hiding,
hiding the pains which until now sting.

When everybody sees you as okay,
I think that’s when they decide not to stay.
I felt that strength comes from within,
yet this is the loneliest I’ve ever been.

But now, I leave those metaphors.
and I drop the pretense, of course.
Yes, I was and I am not okay.
but I will fight and in this course of life, I’ll stay.

Things will fall into place eventually, one step at a time.
:)

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19. The echoes are turning to screams.

The silence is deafening,
cliché but is happening.
Until something snaps,
and the bomb just pops.

It wasn’t near before,
so you weren’t affected to the core.
But the echoes become louder,
and the danger gets nearer.

There is nothing safe anymore,
even if you lock tightly the door.
As the echoes turn to screams,
war isn’t ending it seems.

*inspired by the numerous accounts of bombings around the world
*no photo as my aesthetical inspiration today

13. Life tastes like mint.

160229 Min Yoongi

It’s a lost case,
this is what I face.
I’m lost and can’t find a way,
so in the forest I freeze and stay.

I’m really tired,
the trees I just admired.
They’re all so tall and strong,
not like me feeling small and so wrong.

I stand for a long time and stare,
towards nothing I really don’t care.
Then I rest my head on to my arm,
secretly wishing there’s no harm.

The forest is thick and vast,
I became too lost so fast.
Even with life around blooming,
I felt hopelessness looming.

Until I raised my head up,
light rays were blinding at the top.
I followed the rays which beamed,
there’s the sun like hope which gleamed.

I smiled and realized I found the way,
suddenly had a feeling of wanting to stay.
Because I thought I wasn’t worth it,
outside the forest I might not fit.

Yet the forest opens up,
and a long pathway suddenly popped.
I think this is what life is telling me,
that I shouldn’t worry and live life freely.

© BTS (Official Website)

Life tastes like mint.
(inspiration)

I’m sorry.
I apologize to the life I have not been living fully.
I apologize to the life I always state should be lived with positivity but all I had in mind were regrets and unconfident fulfillments.
I apologize to the past year I cannot get over with because I’m too sentimental and too sensitive, too unmoving and too unloving.
I apologize to how I influence myself and those around me to touch more the topics  of stress, of misunderstandings, of hate and dislike, of fights, of anger, of anything not positive.

Today is rare day in four years.
Today, I am starting to be thankful to the life I am living fully.
I am starting to live with positivity and cherish my fulfillments with confidence and humility.
I am starting to live with more tears but tears with love and understanding.
I am starting to be sentimental in the right ways and be able to move on or let go if I have to, to be sensitive without disrupting others.
I am starting to live my life with the first day of the next month with more appreciation and less complaints, with more spoken gratitude and suppressed negative observations, with more of the positive and nothing, if not, less, of the negative.

Thank you, I’m sorry, please live freely.

*Min Suga of BTS is my inspiration this time. He’s so.. minty (cute, asdfghjkl;!).

11. Just continue.

Stretching out my arms sideward,
the feeling of liberty just comes forward.
Closing my eyes to imagine,
I smile as I dream dreams needed to begin.

The air is calm and inviting,
like the passion I have it clings.
I then look around and appreciate,
I am at the peak of a mountain realizing so late.

Looking up at the bright sky,
to all the fears I say goodbye.
Like the birds who fly the highest,
I’m going to continue at my farthest.

I engulf the breathtaking sight,
against the bad things I fight.
Even when I slip and fall,
I won’t ever think again I’m small.

*inspired by instrumental music
*no photo as my aesthetical inspiration today

I had the chance to watch Dead Poets Society again last weekend.
It never fails to make me realize how important writing is to me.
Writing is what makes me keep going. This is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life.