70. We leave those metaphors.

I used to write about the stars,
and people forget about the scars.
Because with dreams we feel secure,
and escaping seemed like the cure.

I was speaking about the sun,
to hide the truth of the waning fun.
I think the past was about hiding,
hiding the pains which until now sting.

When everybody sees you as okay,
I think that’s when they decide not to stay.
I felt that strength comes from within,
yet this is the loneliest I’ve ever been.

But now, I leave those metaphors.
and I drop the pretense, of course.
Yes, I was and I am not okay.
but I will fight and in this course of life, I’ll stay.

Things will fall into place eventually, one step at a time.
:)

DSCN6736

69. The colors fade and darkness consume it all.

Right and left, everything’s bad.
what’s with the news? again, something sad.
What do we gain from all these hate?
can we still unite or it’s too late?

The sparkling lights disappear,
even the rainbows become unclear.
Yes, the sun still rise from the east,
but the darkness still consumes like a beast.

Details of war are splayed upon us,
each of us has an opinion to pass.
Yet the most essential thing is what we forget.
where we need to become advocates for peace to be set.

Blaming isn’t the best solution,
it’s not even from assuming through race or religion.
The terror brought by any act of destruction,
this is where everybody must focus with determination.

The colors with fun can’t be seen at all,
but in darkness we must listen to the call.
We must not give up and protect the peace of everyone,
until the pains and the reasons of these will be gone.

World Peace

68. Yes, sometimes it stings.

I don’t even know why,
but there are times I want to cry.
Maybe because the world wants me to be directed,
to a place they all (except me) wanted.

Ever since the younger days,
to the standard I don’t usually stay.
I get to like things others do not,
until I grew older and felt I did not make the cut.

Now I’ve become more precise with my interests,
and my strength in pursuing is always put to the test.
“Are you foolish?” is what others ask me,
until in my head I ask, “Yea, what’s wrong with me really?”

I get that these type of inquiries are from curiosity,
but my mind stirs and re-creates a reality.
A realm where what I like isn’t right,
so showing my interests is what I fight.

Sometimes these inquiries transform to statements.
also I become a talk of entertainment.
I’m asked what do I get from what they call absurdity,
and to be honest I, myself, can’t answer them directly.

And rarely do these times hurt,
rarely, yes, yet yes I get tear stains on my shirt.
Because even if this is a petty thing,
there are times where my heart starts cracking.

But there is no blame, hurt, nor fury,
because I do understand this is from pure curiosity.
Maybe because I became a little bit defensive,
since the world I have has weirdness to give.

So this is a thing I would like to say,
in what you love, you have to stay.
Yes, sometimes it stings.
but following and doing what you love has fulfillment to bring.

 

*I’m into Asian culture way back my grade school days and it’s hard to resist in pursuing what I like. This realm I am in makes me write poems and stories, gives me strength to perform, lets me become inspired and work industriously in my line of work, and everything else.

*I won’t give up the fandom (and the rest of my interests) that I’m in.
*Cheers to more fandom years!

67. You loosen your hold.

Before or after going to bed, it doesn’t matter.
with all the thoughts, it’s getting heavier.
Along with time, I take on a strong hold on things.
becoming wary that I may have been tightly clinging.

Mentally, I’m told to loosen up.
yet it’s hard and insomnia can’t be popped.
Indeed, one or two pulls you back to the top.
but those you seek, in caring they’ve stopped.

I guess it’s all over.
I’m too invested in things people don’t bother.
So the last inputs will be the final ones.
To the future, I’m going to run.

Yet secretly, I’m still lurking.
checking out if you need some helping.
But I need to loosen my hold.
since my own needs I’m destroying the mold.

I think years of solitude did the seeking,
of being a person of advice, I’ve been dealing.
Finally it’s time to turn around,
emotional investments, I’m dropping them to the ground.

151231 BTS Jimin

to the person who’s always waiting for rescue
I’m going to save myself.
even if it’s difficult
even if the voices say I can’t

I will.
I hope I will.

66. If you’re not understood, still be good.

I’m walking on a path of diversity,
where I like things differently.
And most of the time, it’s confusing,
so some say things a bit hurting.

But it’s fine, and it always be,
since the impact of the habits, others can’t see.
Though there are times when it hits,
when the words sting and it’s pain I meet.

The words also eat me alive,
and nothingness is where I thrive.
Yet physically, everything’s good.
Even if with the aches I happily stood.

There are times where I’m asked to act differently,
and I get anxious because this is me, actually?
Then suddenly I realized they wanted me to act mature,
and yet I am? Youthfulness has no cure.

Maybe you see me as playful,
but in reality I am no fool.
The amount of childlike things I have is huge,
But I strive for wisdom and perseverance in a deluge.

So even if I am different, it’s okay.
With these interests I have, I’ll stay.
Age isn’t a hindrance to explore,
I’m looking forward to what this life stores.

It begins today.

cropped-tsuki-2.png