67. You loosen your hold.

Before or after going to bed, it doesn’t matter.
with all the thoughts, it’s getting heavier.
Along with time, I take on a strong hold on things.
becoming wary that I may have been tightly clinging.

Mentally, I’m told to loosen up.
yet it’s hard and insomnia can’t be popped.
Indeed, one or two pulls you back to the top.
but those you seek, in caring they’ve stopped.

I guess it’s all over.
I’m too invested in things people don’t bother.
So the last inputs will be the final ones.
To the future, I’m going to run.

Yet secretly, I’m still lurking.
checking out if you need some helping.
But I need to loosen my hold.
since my own needs I’m destroying the mold.

I think years of solitude did the seeking,
of being a person of advice, I’ve been dealing.
Finally it’s time to turn around,
emotional investments, I’m dropping them to the ground.

151231 BTS Jimin

to the person who’s always waiting for rescue
I’m going to save myself.
even if it’s difficult
even if the voices say I can’t

I will.
I hope I will.

15. It’s blank.

There’s a blank hole in the head,
but don’t give up and write instead.
For this is like how life should be led,
strive harder as I’ve always said.

The motivations get smaller,
sometimes I think this isn’t getting better.
But if I put my faith and focus on what I have,
then everything will be okay with love.

Go, self, and prioritize,
step outside the comfort zone and be criticized.
There won’t be exemptions in this,
so live with the current and don’t let the opportunity miss.

*inspired by some random thoughts
*no photo as my aesthetical inspiration today (but Min Suga has purple hair!!!11)